The past approximate 9 months have been quite a journey.  My wife and I have stepped out in faith believing you’ve told us to do something that seems totally crazy.  We’ve both been unemployed and believe you’ve have told us to stay so.  After exhausting all funds, we’ve been totally dependent on you, living  each day looking for our daily manna and receiving as needed.  We believe you told us to attend the prayer room each day, make ourselves available to the church( the entire body), looking for every opportunity to serve.

During this time, we’ve also made our home open to a missionary.   The initial stay was to be 6 weeks but,by Your word, has become several months.  You’ve asked us to share all that we have; and we have done so to the best of our ability.  Of course, we have’nt been perfect but we’re tried our best.  I hope it pleases you.  This has been a time of stretching far beyond what we would have imagined possible for ourselves to endure.  We still don’t know how far you’re  going to take us but we’re willing to go.

We want to thank you for redefining the word “humility” to us and also taking us into a life of abandonment to you (something we’re still learning).  I don’t want to disappoint you  by not believing what you have spoken to us.  I believe!…….I believe and again I believe!    I just ask one thing…..Please help me with my unbelief!   Sometimes I have moments of unbelief…..please help me Lord!  I know it sounds contradictory, however it goes on in my heart……I hate it…..please forgive me.  Without faith I cannot please you!…..I BELIEVE!

Lately, our provision seems to be at end (don’t want the scarcity mentality) and we’ve been wondering if this is a sign to change course.  But each time we inquire to you, there is no answer to our question concerning this matter.  However, at the same time, we have seen long time prayers fulfilled everywhere else in our lives.  I ‘ve seen  my brother-in-law profess Jesus as Lord and You’ve given me a clearer picture of my destiny.   This is encouraging , a reminder that you definitely have not forsaken us.  There are so many other things I could mention but it would probably take up several pages.

Even though some may continue to think we’re crazy, we will keep the course even it we lose everything or it kills us.   Until you speak, we cannot change course.  Someone reading this is probably thinking that we’re stupid and not getting it.  That’s okay, if we look like fools seeking the will of the Lord, we’ll take that chance.

I just want You to know Lord God  You are good and faithful!  You are full of mercy and grace!  You are love!  You are awesome, marvelous and wonderful. We trust You.  We adore You.  We know You will guide our path.  We cry out to You, our God.  And by the  blood of our Lord Jesus, we worship YOU!   In the name of Your Son, Jesus Christ.

This caused great fear and panic in many. Some ran into their homes hiding themselves in closets in darkness and fear rather than face what seemed to be imminent death by the blood and water. Others fled to higher ground thinking that the waters would soon recede therefore they would be safe, thinking if necessary they could stay there indefinitely if need be. Even others were on house and building rooftops, inside skyscrapers peering out of windows in shock and amazement wondering what to do. As some of the people watched the blood and water flow by they seemed to be drawn in and would suddenly jump into the current. It appeared that the ones who peered into the river and watched it flow would somehow see something in it. The blood and water seem to engage them. If they touched the blood and water, it seemed they could not resist the urge to go into it. Many where immediately washed away, however, it didn’t seem to be a bad thing for them. They had great joy and some rushed into the blood and water. You could see peace and calm on there faces as they just seemed to float through the river riding the current to whatever destination was in store for them. Others became totally immersed and disappeared below the waters.

As I continued to see, I saw the blood and water appear to flow into a mountain or base of some foundation that reached to the skies. Atop the foundation was a gleaming, glowing city of light. It was high up above the earth. I couldn’t see the details of the city, but I could see the outline of the structures. As the blood and water reached the base below the city, the blood and water began to steam with little crystal light like formations rising from it. The little crystals of light began to rise from the base up to the city. At first, just a few but then many crystals of light rushed up to the city. Upon further observation as I was given a closer view of the crystals, I saw that the crystals seem to move as if something living was inside each crystal. As I was given an even closer view I could see that the crystals were actually people. These people seemed to glow with light from inside that caused them to sparkle and glow with a very pure white light. They actually looked as if they were entirely composed of light. Their faces where filled with much joy as they seem to run yet at the same time float up to this magnificent glowing city of light.

I realized that these were the people who had been in the river of blood and water.

End of vision

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

The portions that stood out to me were rejoicing, the Lord being near, and not to be anxious for anything.

So then I saw myself crawling on my hands and knees towards the cross and Jesus was there, but I could only see the bottom half – I could only see His feet.  I could see the nail through His feet and the blood, and I went and I crawled and I was crying… I was weak – I could barely crawl, almost beaten down. 

And I began to pull myself up the cross and grabbed His foot and hung onto it and was like, “Lord, help me!”  I was like ‘You always say bring it to the cross – well, I’m at the cross!’  And His hand came down – He extended His hand toward me and at that point He came down off the cross, but as all this is taking place His blood is showering down – it’s almost like raining.

So He came down off the cross and is standing beside me and there’s a lake of blood up to my waist.  Jesus is standing beside me, but He’s not saying anything – He’s just there. 

And I’m taking my head and dipping it in the blood – almost as if to cleanse my mind from thoughts that I can’t control that are coming.  I keep dipping my head in the blood, but it seems as if my head was almost like it was waterproof where water rolls off of it – like that except it was blood-proof. 

I could see on the other side of the blood standing on the edge of it - but not in the blood – was satan (or at least I believe it was satan), it was evil.  He was laughing at me and was calling me names.  Like saying, “You’re stupid!  You must be some kind of idiot to stand off in that blood and dip your head in it.  Do you know you look like a fool!”  I wasn’t about to listen to him.

I looked to Jesus and I said, “what am I doing wrong? I’m missing something here. Lord won’t you help me?”  But it was like He was looking at me as though I knew the answer – He wasn’t saying anything He was just letting me go through this process of figuring out what I was doing wrong.  He wasn’t going to help me.

I looked at Him and said, “I’m no fool.  I’m not getting out of this blood.  I know I’m in the right place, but something is not right.  I’m not doing something right.” 

And I started to get really frustrated because I’m thinking, “I’m in the blood – I’m dipping my head in it trying to clean myself!”

And then it hit me.  If you’re going to be in the blood – get in it. 

And I just thought, “I don’t care anymore – this is not working with my head dipping in and out of the blood, I’m just going to dive in and I’m going to stay under.  And if I drown in Your blood – that can’t be so bad!  I’ll just drown in it because I know I can’t survive outside of it.  And that guy over there has nothing good for me.  He’s laughing and making fun of me, but I know if I give up, he is going to eat me alive!”

So I dove into the blood and went underneath.  And I intended to stay under it until I was clear and felt like everything was alright.  But as I dove underneath it, I could see!  When I dove under the blood, everything was clear – it wasn’t like it was red in there – it was clear I could see.  I could also breath.  And my thoughts were clear. 

At that point I could hear Jesus say, “See?  See I got your back.”  And He said just like He was one of my friends long ago when we used to hang out. 

“I got your back!  You don’t have to worry about a thing.  As a matter of fact, I don’t have just your back, I have your front, I have your side, I got your bottom, I got your top – I got you covered!  I got you covered.  You got that?  Trust me.  Trust me!”

And then I got it.  I have to stay under His covering.  His covering is His blood.  I have to stay in that blood and under it and it has to be all over me.  I got it and it was like, “OH! I see!” 

I could feel Him smile at me, and that was it.