The longer I walk…..the longer I talk…..the longer I seek to know…..the longer I cry out to…..the longer I love……the longer I worship…..the longer I obey…..and the longer I experience my God……………THE MORE I FEAR HIM!
Jesus speaking to Peter:
This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.” (John 21:19)
Father in Heaven, by the blood of Jesus, Your Son, I write to you.
The past approximate 9 months have been quite a journey. My wife and I have stepped out in faith believing you’ve told us to do something that seems totally crazy. We’ve both been unemployed and believe you’ve have told us to stay so. After exhausting all funds, we’ve been totally dependent on you, living each day looking for our daily manna and receiving as needed. We believe you told us to attend the prayer room each day, make ourselves available to the church( the entire body), looking for every opportunity to serve. Continue reading
Not too long ago I was unable to sleep late one night. I begin to pray and ask God what He wanted to say to me. I prayed about numerous things and just listened to what Holy Spirit wanted to tell me. I believe I clearly heard Him say “masturbation is idol worship”. I immediately asked, “What?….please explain.”.
What I heard in my spirit was….when I or anyone chooses to masturbate they are engaging in an active worship of the person or image or lust in their heart (covetousness). Colossian 3:5 “Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”
Also the penis becomes the tool of worship. So then I asked, “So Lord, if there is worship and the penis is the object by which that worship is accomplished. What is the sacrifice?” Immediately I heard, “Your seed.” The seed of my ejaculated semen is the sacrifice. Gulp!….that made me pause for reflection.
So the next time the thought comes to mind…..think about it. Is it idol worship? Are you doing something that honors Him or displeases Him?
Also I’ve begun a discussion group just for men. We will talk about the things men don’t want to talk about…..You know what I mean? Frank discussions about lust, pornography, sexual addiction and related issues. Here’ s the link if you’re interested www.allenwilliamsjr.com/men. You may login anonymously.
By the blood of Jesus!!! Let’s come together and bring down this stronghold and secret lie that is hiding in the Church.
Peter is the name. Peter is struggling with homosexuality…..They call you Pete….”Neat Pete”, because you dress well and you’re very neat and clean. You like things orderly and structured. You’re married and have a daughter named Abby. She’s 4 yrs old with dark curly hair and a very timid smile.
You’ve had some random encounters with strange men. This has been something you’ve hidden for years……but you feel your wife is suspicious and your marriage is not going so well. You’ve become angry, frustrated and depressed.
Peter you have a knowledge of God but you don’t know how to reach Him. You’ve gone to church in the past and feel it’s not what you want. Right now you’re feeling suicidal…..however, no one would ever know.
Peter there is a God….and He knows what’s happening……and He wants to heal your pain.
Say this simple prayer Peter, “JESUS HELP ME”……that’s all He’s waiting for.
As of yet, I do not blog everyday or even every other day.
I don’t like writing or expressing my thoughts in written words. I’ve never liked doing it, so blogging is a major challenge for me.
As a kid and adult, I always thought diaries, or as we like to call them now; journals and blogs, were useless. Although I wish I had some of my thoughts from the past written down, I don’t fret over it. I rarely go back to read my journal or blogs now.
My wife has been a big proponent of blogging and journaling. She convinced me to start doing it about 4 years ago. Yeah, I admit it helps keep track of what God is doing in our lives and even how I’ve changed over the years; however, I still don’t like doing it. It’s still a challenge for me…..a major one. I really have a strong dislike of it. I only do it because others seem to enjoy hearing my thoughts.
Well, I guess it’s time to get rid of the selfish attitude and get over myself. I will try to do better.
It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Mostly because I’m lazy, or more because I don’t really want to share what’s on my mind or what God is speaking.
Well, the Lord straightened me out on this one. He got my attention about 3 weeks ago. Before I start, let me give a brief history of my testimony -just a snippet of what God is focusing on at this moment.
Many years before and after Christ, I struggled with many sexual sins (pornography, adultery, strip clubs and more). About 4 years ago, after many years of struggling as a Christian, I hit rock bottom as far as my relationship with my current wife (my second marriage) and the Lord. My struggle with alcohol and the many sexual sins had taken their toll on me and I finally surrendered 100% to the Lord. Five days later I experience Holy Spirit bapitism and things haven’t been the same since.
At that time, the Lord also gave me many visions and dreams of things to come. I often had visions of being with an army slaying a giant serpent or dragon. During this time, the struggle to keep away from the sexual sins continued. This was a spiritual stronghold in my life. The process of renewing my mind wasn’t easy, especially when we have a society that is constantly pumping images and material of a sexual nature at us. Sometimes our mind goes places it shouldn’t and we find ourselves looking at things we shouldn’t. I experienced victories and set-backs but always pushed forward. I got accountability partners and joined men’s groups within the church. The last few years went by and I had victory….I was cruising along no problems. Feeling strong in the Lord.
Recently, I was having a particularly strong battle against this spirit. It seemed to manifest from nowhere. Soon, I found myself looking at material on the internet I shouldn’t had my eyes on. I couldn’t believe it, how did it happen. I was ashamed, discouraged and totally condemning myself when the Lord said to me “You’ve forgotten what you are supposed to be doing.” I thought to myself , “Huh?” He said, “You’ve put the monster(dragon) in the cage. You’ve been mocking it and treating it as a trophy of your triumph. Yet, it still remained nearby. You taunted it and underestimated it. You allowed yourself to battle alone and you’ve been scratched and bitten. I didn’t tell you to put the monster (dragon) in a cage as showcase like at the zoo. I told you to KILL IT!….SLAY THE DRAGON!!!….If you go into battle to slay the dragon, he will never bite you again.”
I asked, “How do I do that? What exactly is the battle plan for that?” Then Holy Spirit reminded me of the visions and dreams I had been given when I was first delivered. I remembered the time I saw myself lifting people from a pit and many came to help when I cried to the Lord because there were too many for me alone. I remembered also, the visions of being with an army of men running into battle and slaying demons and finally reaching the dragon putting my sword into him and watching it roar and die.
The Lord reminded me that I was to be transparent again….share my story with men. He told me there are many of his men in bondage, fear, shame, guilt and condemnation. They need to tell someone!!!! They want to be free but don’t know how to be. Holy Spirit told me advance as He led…..one step….next step….then next step.
The Lord is wanting His men to be fully aligned with His purposes and holy unto Him. We have to press forward in holiness. Be freed from bondage. Although I was no longer in bondage, I allowed myself to be deceived, duped, and not fully armed. I didn’t consistently put on my full armor . I got comfortable and arrogant allowing the enemy find a chink and stick me hard. I dropped my guard and got sucker-punched. However, the Lord used it to put fire back into my heart. He also reminded me of His purposes for me.
In times past, I would have sunk into a self-pity party and deeper into depravity. But not this time. I felt a fire rise in me. A righteous anger if may say so. I just couldn’t believe I had fell for the lie.
I know the Lord has told me to tell my story to more men. Tell it always as He prompts. Through my lips He will pour His spirit upon these men and they will tell their story. We will then strengthen each other, lock arms, unite in Christ and together slay the dragon.
Spirits that operate through pornography and other sexual sins will come down off their evil thrones. The army I’ve seen will prevail by the power, Spirit and name of Jesus Christ.
If there are any men out there struggling with this dragon, please contact me. Let’s talk, strengthen each other, figure out a battle plan and unite to slay this dragon. Anything said to me, I will keep in strict confidence.
Listen to me carefully!!!……I really believe that if you don’t take it before the Lord now and let Him help you be free, you WILL be exposed. Please don’t let that happen. Deal with it now. That’s not an order but a plea, because I really don’t want to see anyone be exposed against their will….It’s an ugly thing.
I believe God is giving men the chance to come clean now before He begans to purge things Himself. So, those who need to purge in this area…..please do so now!!
Be Blessed, Be Strong, Be Confident in the Lord, not ourselves!!!
I’m new to this blogging thing. Should I just have one entry a day or can I have as many as I want. Just curious. I really don’t care because I’m gonna write as many times as I want anyway. I was just wondering what are the rules so I can break them. Uh oh, is that a spirit of rebellion. I plead the blood.
Have you ever wondered how do we exist. I mean, how do we take up space and time. How does space and time exist? How is it we are here? How did we come from nothing?. I know God created the heavens and the earth but exactly how did he do it from nothing. Wow! Quantum physics explains some of these things yet we still don’t know exactly how it’s done.
Sometimes I think about existing. Right now I’m in the present, but as I write it becomes the past and I’m moving into my future…..whoa!. Can you comprehend that? So is the present really the present or maybe the future or could it be the past, better yet , could they all be the same…..Hmmm? Anyhow, how are we here. What sustains us? (God, of course), yet how. How am I here man!
I would think about these things when I was a kid and as an adult before I knew Christ and it would deeply terrify me not knowing the answer. However, now when I think about these things, I know I’ve got the answer in our God. He has the answers, he is the answer.
It’s going to be awesome when we enter into Gods presence and learn about these things for an eternity.