It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. Mostly because I’m lazy, or more because I don’t really want to share what’s on my mind or what God is speaking.

Well, the Lord straightened me out on this one. He got my attention about 3 weeks ago. Before I start, let me give a brief history of my testimony -just a snippet of what God is focusing on at this moment.

Many years before and after Christ, I struggled with many sexual sins (pornography, adultery, strip clubs and more). About 4 years ago, after many years of struggling as a Christian, I hit rock bottom as far as my relationship with my current wife (my second marriage) and the Lord. My struggle with alcohol and the many sexual sins had taken their toll on me and I finally surrendered 100% to the Lord. Five days later I experience Holy Spirit bapitism and things haven’t been the same since.

At that time, the Lord also gave me many visions and dreams of things to come. I often had visions of being with an army slaying a giant serpent or dragon. During this time, the struggle to keep away from the sexual sins continued. This was a spiritual stronghold in my life. The process of renewing my mind wasn’t easy, especially when we have a society that is constantly pumping images and material of a sexual nature at us. Sometimes our mind goes places it shouldn’t and we find ourselves looking at things we shouldn’t. I experienced victories and set-backs but always pushed forward. I got accountability partners and joined men’s groups within the church. The last few years went by and I had victory….I was cruising along no problems. Feeling strong in the Lord.

Recently, I was having a particularly strong battle against this spirit. It seemed to manifest from nowhere. Soon, I found myself looking at material on the internet I shouldn’t had my eyes on. I couldn’t believe it, how did it happen. I was ashamed, discouraged and totally condemning myself when the Lord said to me “You’ve forgotten what you are supposed to be doing.” I thought to myself , “Huh?” He said, “You’ve put the monster(dragon) in the cage. You’ve been mocking it and treating it as a trophy of your triumph. Yet, it still remained nearby. You taunted it and underestimated it. You allowed yourself to battle alone and you’ve been scratched and bitten. I didn’t tell you to put the monster (dragon) in a cage as showcase like at the zoo. I told you to KILL IT!….SLAY THE DRAGON!!!….If you go into battle to slay the dragon, he will never bite you again.”

I asked, “How do I do that? What exactly is the battle plan for that?” Then Holy Spirit reminded me of the visions and dreams I had been given when I was first delivered. I remembered the time I saw myself lifting people from a pit and many came to help when I cried to the Lord because there were too many for me alone. I remembered also, the visions of being with an army of men running into battle and slaying demons and finally reaching the dragon putting my sword into him and watching it roar and die.

The Lord reminded me that I was to be transparent again….share my story with men. He told me there are many of his men in bondage, fear, shame, guilt and condemnation. They need to tell someone!!!! They want to be free but don’t know how to be. Holy Spirit told me advance as He led…..one step….next step….then next step.

The Lord is wanting His men to be fully aligned with His purposes and holy unto Him. We have to press forward in holiness. Be freed from bondage. Although I was no longer in bondage, I allowed myself to be deceived, duped, and not fully armed. I didn’t consistently put on my full armor . I got comfortable and arrogant allowing the enemy find a chink and stick me hard. I dropped my guard and got sucker-punched. However, the Lord used it to put fire back into my heart. He also reminded me of His purposes for me.

In times past, I would have sunk into a self-pity party and deeper into depravity. But not this time. I felt a fire rise in me. A righteous anger if may say so. I just couldn’t believe I had fell for the lie.

I know the Lord has told me to tell my story to more men. Tell it always as He prompts. Through my lips He will pour His spirit upon these men and they will tell their story. We will then strengthen each other, lock arms, unite in Christ and together slay the dragon.

Spirits that operate through pornography and other sexual sins will come down off their evil thrones. The army I’ve seen will prevail by the power, Spirit and name of Jesus Christ.

If there are any men out there struggling with this dragon, please contact me. Let’s talk, strengthen each other, figure out a battle plan and unite to slay this dragon. Anything said to me, I will keep in strict confidence.

Listen to me carefully!!!……I really believe that if you don’t take it before the Lord now and let Him help you be free, you WILL be exposed. Please don’t let that happen. Deal with it now. That’s not an order but a plea, because I really don’t want to see anyone be exposed against their will….It’s an ugly thing.

I believe God is giving men the chance to come clean now before He begans to purge things Himself. So, those who need to purge in this area…..please do so now!!

Be Blessed, Be Strong, Be Confident in the Lord, not ourselves!!!

I and others were in a building that appeared to be a school or some sort of place with stairs, hallways and rooms. A man stood before us who behaved as if he were in charge and begin to speak to us. He explained to us we had been sent to this place for help because we had become misdirected. He continued to tell us he was assigning personal tutors to each of us. These personal tutors would help us with our assignments.

Just as he finished speaking, a rush of individuals begin to descend down the stairs from the top floor( the top floor was somewhat obscure, almost looked as if the building really had no roof, yet stairs went up into the obscurity). They were all dressed alike in polo style shirts(yellow) but I couldn’t really see if they wore pants or not. All I saw was a blur underneath them. There were male and female of many different skin colors and physical attributes. For some reason, I ran up the stairs into the rush as they blew past me like the wind. I wanted to know from where they were coming. As I ran up, my face met one of the last individuals coming down. He had a tan skin color with short, straight, brown well-kept hair. His face was very chiseled with a stiff chin, high cheeks and a beauty I can’t describe. He looked at me with dark deep eyes almost as if he were asking me where was I going but his lips didn’t move. He spoke to me through the mind like mental telepathy. For some reason, I said,”I pick you to be my tutor”. It was really strange though, because it was as if he had already chose me but my mouth said the words, “I pick you”; almost as if I knew he was assigned to me.

He then led me down to the lobby or conference area where the head guy had spoken to us. In the room now were many of these tutors and each person sitting beside a tutor. Everyone seemed to fix their eyes upon me and my tutor as we sat. Someone asked me, “How did you get him”. I was puzzled by this question. We sat and my tutor began to speak. As he spoke, I quickly realized why the question was asked. I was sitting at his side at the head table.

I truly believe these tutors represented angels sent to guide and protect.

[Origin: 1350–1400; ME < L t?tor protector, equiv. to t?- (var. s. of tuér? to guard; see tutelage) + -tor -tor]

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

Many times I go to the woods behind my house to get away alone with God.  I listen for his voice and signs of his presence all around in his creation.  Today, the Lord gave me a vision of myself standing in that woods.  As I stood, I saw above me, in the sky, two streams of light converging in a v-shape towards me.  One from the right and another from the left.  The left was a dark light and the right a very white light.  Within the streams of light I could see rapid movement.  The two lights collided  at the convergence point (which was me) and there seemed to be a commotion or some sort of fight taking place.   I saw the white light was wrapped around me as if embracing me.  It appeared to have a head that spoke into my ears.  The white light engulfed my whole body except for the my head.  This is where the dark light had an entry point.  It was the only area the dark light was able to penetrate.  I stood looking dumbfounded with a trance like expression not knowing what to think.  I seemed paralyzed.  From the white light, the shape of a head continued to gently speak into my ears.  Yet, at the same time, the dark light continued, in what seemed like a very frantic pace, to pour into my head.  However, the white light still wrapped itself around the rest of my body embracing me tightly and continuing to speak into my ears.  The head of this light floated from one ear to the other ear constantly whispering words into them.  I still stood in a trance like state, frozen in place.

Next, I could see what looked like a dark intimidating face screaming at me.  I don’t exactly know what it was saying, but I had a sense that it wasn’t nice.  It appeared right before my face.  My gaze was fixed upon it not knowing what to think or say or do.  Suddenly, it came to me to say to this being, “Get behind me satan”.  At once, the figure started to move to my right and to the rear of me.  Simultaneously, a very bright white light begin to move into its place.   I looked into the  light and heard it say, “Look to me,  look forward!  Fix your gaze upon me!  Do not look behind you.  Satan has obeyed.  He is behind you just as you commanded him.  But if you look behind, you will see him and he will have legal right to entertain your thoughts and move to block your view of me.   Do not look backward, look forward.  I am forward.  Look forward!  Do not give him any opportunity.  Look to me!  Forward!  I am forward.  Look and see me.”

Lord I pray that I would put my hand to the plow and go forward.  Let me not entertain any thoughts of past failures or dissappointments.  I close all doors to the enemy to come in and disrupt your plans for me.  I believe the plans you have for me of prosperity and hope in You alone.  I fix my gaze upon You Lord Jesus and you alone.  Let your light be the guide to my path.  Amen.

On Tuesday, the 19th of Feb, at Kent and Carla Henry’s prophetic class, while worshipping, this is what I saw.

All I saw were tree branches, bare tree branches like in the woods. Snow and ice covered them. They were lifeless. I felt myself in the woods along with others, but I could not see bodily forms, yet I could feel and somewhat see motions within the branches as if they were human forms without a body. I tried looking at my hands and arms, however all I saw were branches moving in the form of an arm and as my hand. Initially, all I saw were branches but no tree trunks. But as I looked around I became aware that I had been viewing from high atop the trees and as I looked down I could see the whole tree. I was a tree and so were these others.

We, as trees, began to sway as if music were being played. We appeared to be lifting our branches in praise. A light wind was blowing causing more swaying motion. The more we sang and praise, the stronger the wind blew yet it didn’t cause any damage as it seemed to move around and through us. While this scene continued, the atmosphere around us began to change. It became warmer. Not that I could feel the temperature, but signs of a warmer atmosphere began to appear. The snow and ice melted from our branches. Our branches began to bloom with leaves, flower and fruit. Water began to flow between us.

The more we sang, the more we grew and matured.  Our trunks and bark grew thicker and our branches became strong limbs. The water that flowed between us became a river that flowed with a strong current. As our singing continued, the wind blew through us not so hard now but as a light breeze gently blowing through our leaves and branches as if it were tenderly caressing us.

I then noticed a man walking in the woods. I really can’t give a description of what he looked like but I did know He was the Lord Jesus. He seemed to just like walking there and hanging out. Next, I heard these words in my spirit, “This is good. I like it here”.

I’m new to this blogging thing. Should I just have one entry a day or can I have as many as I want. Just curious. I really don’t care because I’m gonna write as many times as I want anyway. I was just wondering what are the rules so I can break them. Uh oh, is that a spirit of rebellion. I plead the blood.

Have you ever wondered how do we exist. I mean, how do we take up space and time. How does space and time exist? How is it we are here? How did we come from nothing?. I know God created the heavens and the earth but exactly how did he do it from nothing. Wow! Quantum physics explains some of these things yet we still don’t know exactly how it’s done.

Sometimes I think about existing. Right now I’m in the present, but as I write it becomes the past and I’m moving into my future…..whoa!. Can you comprehend that? So is the present really the present or maybe the future or could it be the past, better yet , could they all be the same…..Hmmm? Anyhow, how are we here. What sustains us? (God, of course), yet how. How am I here man!

I would think about these things when I was a kid and as an adult before I knew Christ and it would deeply terrify me not knowing the answer. However, now when I think about these things, I know I’ve got the answer in our God. He has the answers, he is the answer.

It’s going to be awesome when we enter into Gods presence and learn about these things for an eternity.

Above the earth in the heavens, I saw a man rip open his chest and simultaneously cry out with a tremendous roar. When his chest opened his heart literally burst open and spewed forth huge amounts of blood that splattered over the entire earth. Gushing forth, the blood created deep rivers that flowed through cities through the streets, the alley ways, over the farm lands, covering homes, flooding entire cities. Some areas where covered in a sea of blood and water, yes, water too. It seemed as if this blood fell into the waters of the earth filling them to overflow causing a rushing current of blood and water everywhere.

This caused great fear and panic in many. Some ran into their homes hiding themselves in closets in darkness and fear rather than face what seemed to be imminent death by the blood and water. Others fled to higher ground thinking that the waters would soon recede therefore they would be safe, thinking if necessary they could stay there indefinitely if need be. Even others were on house and building rooftops, inside skyscrapers peering out of windows in shock and amazement wondering what to do. As some of the people watched the blood and water flow by they seemed to be drawn in and would suddenly jump into the current. It appeared that the ones who peered into the river and watched it flow would somehow see something in it. The blood and water seem to engage them. If they touched the blood and water, it seemed they could not resist the urge to go into it. Many where immediately washed away, however, it didn’t seem to be a bad thing for them. They had great joy and some rushed into the blood and water. You could see peace and calm on there faces as they just seemed to float through the river riding the current to whatever destination was in store for them. Others became totally immersed and disappeared below the waters.

As I continued to see, I saw the blood and water appear to flow into a mountain or base of some foundation that reached to the skies. Atop the foundation was a gleaming, glowing city of light. It was high up above the earth. I couldn’t see the details of the city, but I could see the outline of the structures. As the blood and water reached the base below the city, the blood and water began to steam with little crystal light like formations rising from it. The little crystals of light began to rise from the base up to the city. At first, just a few but then many crystals of light rushed up to the city. Upon further observation as I was given a closer view of the crystals, I saw that the crystals seem to move as if something living was inside each crystal. As I was given an even closer view I could see that the crystals were actually people. These people seemed to glow with light from inside that caused them to sparkle and glow with a very pure white light. They actually looked as if they were entirely composed of light. Their faces where filled with much joy as they seem to run yet at the same time float up to this magnificent glowing city of light.

I realized that these were the people who had been in the river of blood and water.

End of vision

I was laying on the ground with my head encased  inside  some type of cocoon mound.  Although my head was inside the cocoon, I cold still observe what was going on around me.  There appeared to be a battle taking place and the enemy was prevailing.  Yet, as I lay on the ground, they didn’t attack me because they assumed I was dead.

Suddenly everyone fled in different directions and the battle ended.  Immediately following, I begin to emerge from the cocoon.  Arising from the ground, I stood, looked around and begin breathing.  My breathing was weird as if I were simultaneously taking in air and water.  It felt as if my jaws where moving or flapping open.  Looking around, I could see that I had been lying  in my backyard (The one I owned in the dream. Not my real backyard).  Coming out of the backdoor and on the porch was my family that had been waiting for me to emerge.  My wife(unidentifiable woman) in a proud and excited tone said, “You look great. You came out perfect.”  I was puzzled yet also curiously afraid to see my appearance.  I noticed I felt fresh and powerful.  My breathing seem to cleanse the air I breathed.  As I breathed in air, it seemed as if the impurities were filtered out.  The air felt so thick and fresh.

Finally, I went into the house arrived at a mirror.  The image of me had a grotesque beauty I can’t quite describe.  My face had the shape of a man yet my skin was  fish scales and a fish gill on each jaw.  I was a strange fish/man combination.  However, for some reason, as I viewed myself in the mirror, I felt honored and blessed to be transformed into this new creature.

While praying to the Lord, I asked Him to take me deeper into His spirit.  As I asked, I saw myself diving into an ocean swimming to the very deep dark bottom.  As I travelled to the deep there were sharks that came my way.  They swam towards me in an intimidating manner but didn’t attack.  I also encountered an octopus that tried to pull me down but his suctions would not hold because I had blood on my arms which caused the tentacles to slip off. The blood was not from an injury.  It just happen to be on my arms at that moment.

Once I reached the bottom I couldn’t see a thing so I began to feel around.  Suddenly the darkness just dissolved away and I found myself in crystal clear water beaming with brightness all over.  For some reason I had this urge to start stomping and kicking the big jagged rocks that sat along the floor of the sea.  As I kicked, stomped and pulled at the rocks they began to break apart exposing a very shiny sparkling rock that looked like a combination of gold and diamond.

Immediately, I wanted to head to the surface and show everyone what I had discovered.  However, I heard this voice say “Stop don’t go. Take a look around first.”  Looking around, I saw these gold-diamond nuggets all over the  floor of the ocean.  I then heard a voice tell me, “You should stay here in the deep”.  I hesitantly decided to stay.  As soon as I did, I noticed fishing lines with hooks coming down through the water and I intuitively knew what to do.  I began putting nuggets onto the hooks.  Strangely, these nuggets were hard yet able to be pierced and attached to a hook.  Once the nugget was secured, the fishing lines would quickly began to rise to the surface.

Somehow, the entire time I remained submerged in the deep, I never once needed to come up for air.

End

This is a vision from February 22, 2006… God gave it to me. I used to get these visions while praying, and I was praying and once again I was pouring out my heart thinking and saying “I need You, Lord! I can’t turn to anything else.” So I’m praying and during that process some time has passed, and this is the way it usually happens – the thoughts just start to come and it flows and I just let it come.  Sometimes it comes in pieces and then it finally comes together – I’m just going to give you an explanation of what happens sometimes with these visions – sometimes I have to let go and let it flow.  Sometimes I stop the flow and I’m like “no no no no no that’s just my head!” – I can’t separate whether it’s from God or me, but I can figure it out when I stop and I don’t allow it to flow, but when I just let it go it tends to just come.  I just say “ok Lord, if You’ve got something let it come” and then it just starts to come.

But anyway, this is what happened, I saw what appeared to be a little child in what looked like an expanse of space in the heavens. It resembled when you see someone in a stadium singing the national anthem standing in the middle by themselves and there’s a crowd round about in the stadium observing.  It seemed as if angels were there in the stadium and I was in the middle of it but in the front portion… in front of me was a presence I could feel; I believe it was God. And the Lord was there… it was an intense flow. But His presence was also all over the place too but it was at the same time concentrated in that one area.

I was singing – I knew it was me looking and feeling like a little child.  It was a haunting tune. I felt complete dependence on God, feeling my heart cry out, “Help me God!” and “Praise You!” I don’t even know what I was saying it was in another tongue but I could feel my spirit pouring out to Him, “God I need You and You’re the only One who can help me!” Also a singing angel chorus accompanied me. The angels would join in with me – where I would sing a part, step back  and they would sing the chorus and then I would sing my solo and they would sing the chorus.  It was  as though they were worshipping and I was worshipping with them …. as though they were helping me to communicate to the Lord.  It seemed I was giving my plea and they were right there saying, “Lord, help him!” and they were singing with me assisting me before the Lord. It was a powerful!

So, as I was singing a door opened up. It was just like a door within… imagine if you were outside and you saw a door open within that area you occupying – that expanse – a door just opened to my right and you could see a glow coming from the door.

All of this communication went on – not really speaking – more as if we felt each other’s thoughts.  And I could sense God say… or let me correct that, I asked Him, I said, “What? Do You want me to go through the door?” And I could sense God say, “Yes, go ahead.”  It was odd I don’t know how to explain it. Anyway, He said, “Go through the door. That door, I opened it for you.”

So, I went through the door, and as I peeked in – It looked like a treasure chest. It seemed as if a ship had sank and spilled its treasure – gold and all kinda things. I was just amazed and asked “what is this? Is this for me?” And God said, “Yes.” He said, “Go ahead.” He was like a Father, and He came down from the throne – and I took His hand – and He led me in to the room.

He took me inside and I was a little kid holding His hand looking up to Him thinking, “This is for me??” But I was overwhelmed, I thought “What do You want me to do with all this? I don’t need all of this. Why would You give me all of this? If You’re gonna give this to me You will have to help me because I don’t know what to do with all of this!”

He was like a kind Father saying to me, “I’ll help you. Don’t worry.”  I thought, “Man, please! Cause I don’t know what to do with all this!” I was panicking saying, “Don’t give all this to me! I don’t know what to do with it! Just give me a little bit and let me be ok.”

As we were having this exchange, a happy little girl comes skipping into the room. She was just skipping and singing, “la da da da da da.” Suddenly, she sees the treasure, runs diving into it wallowing in it yelling, “OH YES!” She just sinks in to it and is so happy screaming, “Look!  Just look at all of this! Look!  Look at all of this!”

I turn to the Lord saying, “Let me get her!” And I grab her and tell her, “Look look look – calm down!” And at that time I realize that the little girl is Meghan. I continue to tell her,”calm down! calm down! God has given us this but He’s… we’ve gotta be responsible. We’ve gotta be good stewards of this. And I’m trying to find out what He wants us to do with this – so I can do this right and we won’t mess up with it – this treasure He’s given us. Because I don’t want Him to give us this and we just blow it.”

So, I tell Him, “You’re gonna have to help me Lord.” The Lord tells me, “Yes, I’m giving you this but it’s going to be your responsibility.” Which He pointed to me “it’s going be your responsibility to make sure that it’s well taken care of, that you do what you’re supposed to do with it.”

Then He looked at Meghan (but still speaking to me) “You’re going to have to sometimes reign her in. You’re going to be in charge of this.”  I answered, “Ok, I can do this.” Meghan was willing to go “ok that’s fine with me, I’m going to trust whatever you say do” because she could see that I would be getting my instructions from the Lord and she was in full agreement, “that’s ok – that’s ok – just tell me what to do! Tell me what we’re gonna do!  Just come on let’s do this! Come on, come on!” She was just so excited… I knew it was Meghan, she’s always excited… that’s just her. I should have known that from the beginning.   She stood there so excited and the vision ended.

Ok there you go.